With the historic announcements in General Conference this past weekend,Church-related memes are flourishing.

Robyn and Alan Calderon announced their engagement on Friday, March 30th. Plans are underway for a June 5th temple sealing.

President Pattison decided to now have a quarterly newsletter. Click the following link for this year's first one: CEM Newsletter 1st Quarter

One thing that Sandy does as mission secretary is schedule missionary interviews with the president. The following poem by Elders Griffin and Hoppie is in response to a scheduled appointment:

We thank thee a lot for all that you do, 

We're excited for this transfer's president interview! 

We will drive so safe and get there so surely, 

Yes ma'am, we'll arrive 10 minutes early! 

Thanks for being the sweetest and such, 

We know you're the best and love you so much! 

-Love Elder Hoppie and Elder Griffin,  your Stettler elders!

I recently took a look at our young missionaries and where they come from. I found the following statistics interesting:

Gender

     Elders       105   (67%)

     Sisters       51   (33%)

                    156

North America      133   (85%)
United States         120   (77%)

Asia                         12   (  8%)

Central America        3   (  2%)

Europe                       3   (  2%)

Great Britain             2    (  1%)

South Pacific             2   (  1%)

South America          1    (  1%)

Canada                    13    (  8%)

Intermountain West

     Utah                 59   (38%)

     Arizona            17   (11%)

     Idaho               13   (  8%)

     Nevada              1   (  1%)

     Colorado           0   (  0%)

     New Mexico      0   (  0%)

                             90   (58%)

As spring approaches, removing snow from the streets is a major project. During the night machines plow the snow into windrows, then other machines come along and blow the snow into large tractor trailers for transport out of town.

Every six weeks a few missionaries return home. Prior to their departure the mission has a lunch for them featuring donair pizza. (For more about donair go to the bottom of this post.) Sandy decorates the tables for the lunch.

Donair is heavily spiced ground beef that's shaped into a large loaf and roasted on a spit, then shaved and seared on a flat top range. Spices include black pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, paprika, cayenne pepper, and oregano. (It's something we will miss.)

Two sister missionaries (Mills and Toone) recently had an automobile accident (fortunately there were no injuries). Their car was in the shop eight days for repair. When they got it back they noticed that the odometer had an additional 231 kilometers on it, so they called me. I was impressed that they noticed the kilometers, and that they had the good judgment to inform me.

I called the shop manager and told him about the odometer. He was nice, but told me that his people had been with him for years and nothing like that had ever happened before. However, he offered to do some checking.

He called me back about an hour later and said that he checked three shop vehicles and discovered that they were all low on gas, though he knew they should have been near full. He said that he had one person in mind who might be responsible, and that he would confront him, then let me know what happened.

The manager called me today and said that the employee confessed to taking the gas and driving the mission vehicle. The manager said that as restitution he would deduct $1000 from the cost of repairing the car.

Sandy read the following scripture from the Book of Mormon (1 Nephi 17:3-6) and likened it to our time in the Redlands Temple and Laguna Niguel:

"And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them....And we did sojourn for the space of many years....And we did come to the land which we called Bountiful, because of its much fruit and also wild honey; and all these things were prepared of the Lord that we might not perish. And we beheld the sea....And it came to pass that we did pitch our tents by the seashore;"

I've mentioned previously that every mission vehicle now has a GPS device that detects speeding, non-use of seat belts, and aggressive driving (hard acceleration, hard stops, hard turns, and hard bumps). We received a comparative report this week stating that the Canada Edmonton Missionaries are the safest drivers among all 129 missions in the US and Canada. Below is from an email the mission president sent to all of the missionaries announcing our number one ranking:

"Elders and Sisters, in a recent report from SLC, they compared each mission in NORTH AMERICA (129 Missions) against each other with respect to the TIWI results.  Read below to see how we are doing. This looks so good on you!  Elder Kerr, in our reserved ways, FIST PUMP and HIGH FIVE over this! We love you!  You are exceptional.  Remember , all things are spiritual unto the Lord! What impresses us the most is this is reflection on what is going on in the inside of each missionary!  We are the best mission in North America!  That is what TIWI says!  Believe it!"

At 1:38 this morning my cell phone woke me up with a text message from my brother John with some 2017 tax information. I wrote him back, "You are up late." I laid down to go back to sleep when  a text from my brother Rolfe arrived, "At least three of us are." A moment later my brother Duane sent this text, "Me too." I then wrote, "Amazing! We must be related." Rolfe then wrote, "Well, I was just up to the bathroom." The last text came this morning from John at 7:43, "A chuckle like that in the middle of the night could make it hard to go back to sleep."

A few recent and fun missionary assignments:

• Sisters Kuchar and Karcher are companions.
• Elders Baker and Cook are companions.
• Elder Wood was sent to serve in Wood Buffalo.